The 3 R's of Caring for People Who Grieve

Ep. 073 with Kelly Edmondson

In this episode of the Good Grief Believer podcast, host Julie Craig sits down with Kelly Edmondson, a nurse executive and the compassionate founder of Timely Presence. Together, they walk through Kelly’s tender journey of navigating grief after the unexpected passing of her 28-year-old son, Darius. Through her profound story, Kelly illuminates how an unspeakable earthly loss can be transformed into a divine ministry of comfort. For anyone seeking solace after a sudden loss, Kelly’s words offer a sweet, faith-filled sanctuary for finding peace and anchoring the heart in christian faith during a painful healing journey. 

A Calling Grounded in Compassion and Bedside Care

Kelly’s story begins in Ohio, where she raised her family and answered a lifelong calling to the nursing profession. Spending 25 years in trauma ICU and emergency room environments, Kelly was given the sacred privilege of standing beside families in their most vulnerable moments. Her colleagues affectionately dubbed her "Trauma Thomas"—using her maiden name—because of her innate ability to offer emotional warmth, coordinate chaplains, and guide grieving families through acute medical crises.

Through her decades at the bedside, Kelly believed she understood the full landscape of grief and loss. However, when tragedy touched her own home, she discovered a crucial distinction between professional exposure and personal heartbreak. Emergency care often involves acute shock and immediate disruption rather than long-term mourning. True grief, Kelly explains, sets in much later when the quiet permanence of "forever" takes root, and a mother realizes her child will be absent for every holiday, birthday, and family gathering for the rest of her earthly life.

Remembering Darius: A Light Lived Out Loud

Darius, Kelly’s oldest son, was named after a prominent figure in the Bible and brought radiant warmth into every space he entered. Known as a joyful class clown who knew no strangers, Darius channeled his outgoing nature into a career as a real estate agent, specializing in helping first-time homebuyers achieve their dreams.

Tragedy struck on January 3rd when 28-year-old Darius passed away unexpectedly from a seizure in his sleep. Though his passing left an agonizing void, his vibrant spirit left an enduring impression on his community. At his funeral service, representatives from Columbus State Community College stepped up to the open microphone to announce that they were permanently renaming an annual award the "Darius Edmondson Visionary Dreamer Award" in his honor. For Kelly, this sweet tribute served as a gentle "God wink," assuring her heart that her son’s legacy of uplifting others was far from over.

The Unimaginable Shock of a Distant Loss

The news of Darius’s passing reached Kelly in a surreal and disorienting setting. She and her husband were on a cruise ship off the coast of Mexico when her younger son called to deliver the heartbreaking news. Stranded at sea for two days before reaching port in Jamaica, Kelly experienced the tender mercy of God through the overwhelming kindness of cruise line staff, who surrounded the couple with compassionate care, arranged their travel home, and managed their luggage.

Upon returning to Ohio to gather her family, Kelly found herself moving through the task-focused fog of funeral planning. Sitting down with her daughter to write Darius's obituary brought a profound sense of shock, as she grappled with the surreal burden of encapsulating a vibrant young man’s entire life on a single piece of paper.

A Mother’s Day Miracle and the Birth of Timely Presence

A major turning point in Kelly's journey occurred during her first Mother's Day following Darius's death. Dreading the commercial reminders and emotional weight of the day, Kelly initially wished to skip the holiday entirely. Seeing her heartache, Kelly's mother, sister, and niece flew to Florida to surround her with love. Together, they shared memories, laughed over old stories, shed tears, and gave Kelly the freedom to simply exist as Darius's mother.

Moved by this surrounding love, Kelly sought to pay the blessing forward. When an elderly neighbor lost her husband three months later, Kelly secretly dropped off a wind chime on her porch to mark his birthday. When her neighbor later shared how much comfort that gift brought her, Kelly felt a divine calling. She left her PhD program, enrolled in an MBA program for entrepreneurial studies, and launched Timely Presence alongside her younger son. Designed to provide ongoing grief support, the business honors Darius’s memory by adopting his favorite color, blue, as its core brand color.

Standing in the Gap: Sustaining Love Beyond the Initial Shock

Through Timely Presence, Kelly addresses a widespread issue in traditional grief care. While flowers and meals flood in immediately following a loss, support often vanishes after a few months, leaving the bereaved in deafening silence during their long-term process of coping with loss. As a certified grief counselor, Kelly recognized that while grief is not linear, certain milestone dates—such as heavenly birthdays, wedding anniversaries, Mother's Day, Father's Day, holidays, and the one-year anniversary—are predictably difficult.

Timely Presence bridges this gap by sending handcrafted, personalized gifts to grieving individuals on these exact dates throughout the year. Kelly shares a touching instance where a funeral home director utilized the service for a mother who had lost an adult child. The mother was so deeply moved by receiving a gift on Mother's Day that she hand-delivered homemade cookies to the funeral director to express her heartfelt gratitude for remembering her child.

Anchored in Faith: Embracing God’s Sovereignty in Sorrow

With tender honesty, Kelly reflects on the spiritual struggles that accompanied her mourning. In the early days, she wrestled with deep anger toward God, toward Darius, and toward herself. During the weeks when she lacked the strength to pray, her mother and mother-in-law interceded on her behalf, covering her in prayer until her spirit could begin to mend.

Grounded in her childhood foundation of faith, Kelly found peace in remembering that Heavenly Father deeply understands the agony of losing an oldest Son. She realized that questioning the unfairness of loss to a God who voluntarily surrendered His own Son required immense humility. Her firm conviction that Darius’s spirit remains alive in Christ gives her enduring strength, reassuring her heart that their separation is merely a temporary "bye for now".

The Three R’s of Loving Others Through Loss

Reflecting on the well-meaning but insensitive remarks grieving parents often face—such as "at least you have other children" or intrusive inquiries into how a loved one died—Kelly offers practical wisdom. She notes that people often ask pointed questions out of their own fear of mortality rather than malice.

To help friends and family offer meaningful comfort, Kelly outlines her "Three R's" framework for grief care:

• Regulate: Regulate your own emotions and pause before engaging with a grieving friend, ensuring you respond with calm intention rather than emotional overwhelm.
• Respond: Take practical action—such as dropping off a meal, running an errand, or doing laundry—without burdening the bereaved to ask for help.
• Remain: Continue showing up, sending notes, and remembering their loved one long after the rest of the world has moved on.

Conclusion: Finding Peace and Purpose in What Comes Next

In closing this inspiring episode of Good Grief Believer, Julie asks Kelly what it truly means to experience hope and healing by grieving well. Kelly offers a beautiful summary of her personal restoration:

"For me, grieving well is finding peace with the loss, but purpose in what's next."

Through her dedicated work with Timely Presence, Kelly nurtures life after loss, ensuring that Darius’s legacy of love and laughter continues to shine bright. Her story stands as a gentle reminder that when we surrender our broken hearts to the Lord, He can transform our deepest valleys of sorrow into fruitful ministries of comfort, hope, and everlasting peace.