Making New Memories

Ep. 043 with Julie Craig 

Welcome to the "Good Grief Believer" blog! As a Christian mother who has navigated the turbulent waters of grief, I believe in the transformative power of creating new memories even after experiencing profound loss. Today, I want to share insights from a recent podcast episode where I had a heartfelt discussion with my husband, Michael, about how making new memories can help us heal.

Embracing New Experiences After Loss

Welcome to the "Good Grief Believer" blog! As a Christian mother who has navigated the turbulent waters of grief, I believe in the transformative power of creating new memories even after experiencing profound loss. Today, I want to share insights from a recent podcast episode where I had a heartfelt discussion with my husband, Michael, about how making new memories can help us heal.

The Power of Shared Grief

In our podcast, Michael and I shared our unique experiences as widows. Both of us have faced the daunting task of rebuilding our lives after the loss of our spouses. As we discussed the importance of creating new memories, we also acknowledged the value of our shared experiences. Supporting each other through grief has been a tremendous blessing, allowing us to forge a new path together.

However, I want to focus on the individual steps we each took before meeting one another. The journey of grief is deeply personal, and finding new habits that promote healing is crucial. After losing Steve, I found myself overwhelmed with memories that both warmed my heart and brought me pain. I knew I needed to create new experiences that would help me cope.

Celebrating Special Days in New Ways

Steve's birthday and Father's Day always fell just one week apart, marking a time of celebration in our family. After his passing, the thought of facing those days felt daunting. I wasn’t in the mood to be at home, surrounded by reminders of his absence. So, I decided to take my children on a weekend getaway to a beautiful mountain retreat.

This trip allowed us to honor Steve's memory while also creating new experiences together. We enjoyed new restaurants, explored the beauty of nature, and shared stories about their dad. It was a healing experience that reminded us that while our loved ones may be gone, we can still create joyful moments in their honor.

Creative Commemoration

One of the most memorable experiences I had with my kids was creating a pillow with Steve's picture on it. My daughter and her fiancé found a company that could turn a photo into a pillow, and we decided to take it with us on a road trip to Olympic National Park. We jokingly took pictures with the pillow at various locations, as if Steve were with us.

Looking back at those photos, I can’t help but smile. What started as a lighthearted way to remember him became a cherished tradition. Even though the pillow eventually found a new home with one of the kids, the memories we created during that trip remain close to my heart.

Strengthening Bonds with Family

Michael shared his own journey of healing, particularly how he sought to strengthen his relationship with his father after losing his wife. He and his son took a road trip from Kansas City to Flagstaff, Arizona, exploring national parks and deepening their bond. This experience not only helped him cope with his loss but also improved his relationship with his father.

By stepping out of familiar surroundings, Michael was able to create lasting memories with his son and father. This reminds us that grief can lead us to unexpected connections and deeper relationships, even amid our sorrow.

Discovering New Hobbies and Activities

In the podcast, Michael talked about how he turned to weightlifting as a way to cope with his grief. This newfound passion not only improved his physical health but also served as a productive outlet for his emotions. I wholeheartedly believe that engaging in new activities can provide a much-needed distraction and a sense of accomplishment during difficult times.

Whether it's learning a new instrument, taking up painting, or joining a local sports team, exploring new hobbies can open doors to joy and connection. As I reflected on my own experiences, I realized how important it is to embrace new opportunities for growth.

Connecting with Community

Another vital aspect of healing from grief is the importance of community. In our podcast, we discussed how finding a supportive faith community can be a tremendous blessing. After losing someone significant, it’s essential to surround ourselves with people who understand our pain and can provide comfort.

Michael shared how his father, at 93, remains active in his community, staying engaged with friends and exploring new interests like pickleball. This is a beautiful example of how staying connected can help combat feelings of isolation during the grieving process.

Finding Hope in the Journey

As we wrapped up our conversation, Michael and I emphasized that while the journey through grief is challenging, it doesn’t have to be hopeless. By creating new memories and focusing on the present, we can find joy and meaning again.

I want to encourage anyone reading this to embrace the idea of making new memories, whether it’s through travel, new hobbies, making friends or simply spending time with loved ones. Healing takes time, but it is possible to find happiness in the midst of sorrow.

Conclusion: Embracing the Future with Love

In closing, my hope for you is that you will find the strength to navigate your grief while honoring the memories of those you have lost. Remember that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions, and that creating new experiences can bring light into your life.

As a Christian mother who has found peace in grief, I believe that we can all find ways to celebrate our loved ones while also embracing the precious gift of life. May you discover the joy that awaits you on the other side of grief, and may your journey be filled with love, hope, and new memories.