Grieving in Pieces

Ep. 071 with Daria Brekke Craig 

In a deeply moving and heartfelt episode of the Good Grief Believer podcast, host Julie Craig sits down for an intimate kitchen-table conversation with her beloved daughter-in-law, Daria Brekke Craig. Recorded in the quiet warmth of Daria’s home in Elverum, Norway, this episode offers a gentle, faith-filled sanctuary for anyone currently navigating grief or searching for a beacon of hope after a sudden loss. 

Through their tender dialogue, listeners are invited into a sacred space where the heavy burdens of international conflict, family separation, and unexpected tragedy are ultimately surrendered to a higher power, revealing a beautiful path toward finding peace.

This special episode highlights how a family grounded in devotion can weather life’s most turbulent storms. As Julie and Daria share their hearts, they beautifully demonstrate that while the pathway through sorrow can feel incredibly lonely, walking hand-in-hand with God transforms the wilderness of mourning into a sacred healing journey. For anyone struggling with the deep ache of a parent’s passing, this conversation serves as a sweet reminder that divine comfort is always within reach. 

A Beautiful Life Intertwined Across Borders

Daria, whom the family affectionately calls Dasha, is a 31-year-old pediatrician whose life has been a tapestry woven across distinct cultures and nations. Born in Russia, her early childhood was marked by her parents' divorce when she was just five years old. Five years later, her mother married a Norwegian man, prompting a major move to Norway, where Daria completely immersed herself in her new home, mastering the language and pursuing her dream of attending medical school. Yet, even in the midst of her rigorous medical studies, she felt a powerful divine prompting to pause her education and serve a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Ukraine. 

It was during this dedicated time of service that God crossed her path with Julie’s son, Ben. Though Daria initially hesitated due to their three-and-a-half-year age difference—she was 22 and he was just an 18-year-old missionary—their connection was rooted in a shared faith. Today, they celebrate seven beautiful years of marriage and are blessed with two precious little boys. Ben lovingly abandoned his track career at Brigham Young University to relocate to Norway, learn the language, and build a life alongside Daria. Their love story stands as a wonderful testament to how faith can guide a young couple through major life transitions. 

Remembering Alexander: A Father’s Joyous Spirit

The emotional core of the episode centers on Daria’s loving recollections of her father, Alexander, who was also known by his nickname, Sasha. Living miles apart in different countries did not diminish the deep bond they shared. Daria reflects with immense gratitude on how her father was exceptionally supportive, even after her parents' divorce. When the time came for Daria to move to Norway at age ten, Alexander unselfishly signed the required paperwork. He refused to let his own loneliness stand in the way of his only child's future, prioritizing her happiness above all else. 

Alexander worked hard as a car mechanic and supervisor, but his true legacy was his vibrant, highly optimistic personality. He possessed a wonderful gift for turning any situation into a lighthearted joke, filling his surroundings with humor and joy. Whenever Daria and her family returned to Russia for their annual visits, Alexander would happily drive six long hours to the Moscow airport to pick them up. Even though he spoke no English, he went out of his way to communicate warmly with Daria’s Norwegian stepfather. Alexander eventually raised a beautifully large blended family of five children, ensuring that despite life's complications, love was always abundant in his home. 

A Sudden Loss and a Logistical Wilderness

The fragility of earthly life became heartbreakingly real when Alexander passed away suddenly at the exceptionally young age of 47. Daria recalls speaking with him while he was hospitalized with an IV just a day before his passing. Though he was in pain, his optimistic spirit led her to believe he was on the mend. The following morning, Daria awoke to a devastating text message from his widow announcing his passing. Plunged into immediate shock, Daria initially went to her hospital shift and sat through a morning meeting before her supervisor noticed her profound distress and gently sent her home. 

What followed was an absolute logistical nightmare that amplified her grief and loss. Alexander passed away in March 2022, a mere two to three weeks after the outbreak of the war in Ukraine. Daria was pregnant with her first child, and international travel to Russia was virtually paralyzed due to severe sanctions and closed airspace. Yet, she remembered how her father used to take her to cemeteries as a child, tenderly telling her, "I hope that someday you will come visit me at the cemetery". Bound by love, she knew she had to find a way to get there. 

In her deep distress, Daria turned to the word of God, opening her scriptures randomly to find immediate comfort. The Lord sweetly assured her heart that she had suffered enough, promising that she and her unborn baby would remain safe and would not get stuck in Russia. Armed with this divine reassurance, she witnessed a series of miracles fell into place: 

• The Embassy Miracle: Amidst intense protests in Oslo, a consular worker rushed out and handed her an emergency visa directly through the iron bars of the gate. 
• Travel Insurance: After an initial denial, a second phone call magically secured the necessary travel coverage to enter a restricted zone. 
• The Arduous Route: Daria endured a grueling 24-hour journey flying south through Istanbul, paying over $1,000 for a flight that normally took two hours and cost a fraction of the price. 
• Financial Sanctions: With European credit cards rendered completely useless in Russia, Daria had to rely entirely on leftover cash rubles and privately exchanged euros just to secure a domestic train ticket. 

Julie deeply validates this intense administrative burden, drawing a comforting parallel to the logistical nightmare she faced when her own husband, Steve, passed away. They reflect on how sweet it is when compassionate people step up to make coping with loss just a little bit easier for a grieving heart. 

Navigating Grief in Bits and Pieces

Upon her emotional return to Norway, Ben thoughtfully whisked Daria away on a peaceful "baby moon" trip to Portugal, providing a quiet haven to rest and process her heavy emotions. Because Ben had lost his own father within that very same year, the young couple found themselves uniquely bonded. Daria describes this as a bittersweet blessing, noting that her husband possessed a rare, deeply empathetic understanding of her exact pain. This shared understanding became an anchor for their marriage as they learned the delicate art of life after loss. 

Daria beautifully explains that because she lived across the ocean from her father, her sorrow has not been a constant wave, but rather something she experiences in highly compartmentalized "bits and pieces". The ache of her sudden loss is felt most acutely during sweet family milestones. She misses his joyful presence when she watches her two young boys play, wishing he could have physically embraced them. 

To keep his memory alive, she giggles over his complete lack of parenting boundaries, like the time he handed a real metal hammer to a one-year-old toddler to "help" hang a picture. She also clings to the sweet memories of him buying her Happy Meals and small toys when he could barely afford them. Daria honors his legacy by continuing his favorite tradition: an absolute dedication to celebrating birthdays and keeping family connected. In fact, she chose to record this very podcast as a special gift to honor his memory on his birthday, April 6th. 

Guarding the Heart Against Earthly Friction

Navigating grief also requires immense grace when dealing with the imperfections of others. Daria candidly shares a painful instance of insensitivity that occurred immediately following her father’s funeral. While gathered with relatives in the countryside, family members began drinking heavily—a custom that Daria found deeply troubling given that alcohol consumption had actively contributed to her father's untimely death.

This profound experience with loss permanently altered Daria's perspective on family relationships. She admits that it is now incredibly difficult to listen to people majorly complaining about their parents or choosing to voluntarily cut off communication over minor disagreements.

The Sweet Hope of Eternal Families and Healing in Christ

The most beautiful note struck during this episode is Daria’s unwavering faith in grief. Though her father never officially joined the church, he maintained a profound respect for her beliefs. He consistently drove Daria and her mother to church activities and kept a copy of the Book of Mormon on his shelf, openly expressing his deep pride in the clean, faithful life his daughter chose to live. 

Daria finds her ultimate solace in the comforting doctrine of eternal families. She speaks with absolute certainty about a life before this one and a glorious resurrection waiting on the other side. Her heart rests in the promise that relationships do not end at the grave, and that families can be. 

Conclusion: What It Truly Means to Grieve Well

As this touching episode of Good Grief Believer draws to a close, Julie asks Daria what it truly means to achieve hope and healing by grieving well. Daria delivers a breathtakingly mature perspective that serves as a comfort to all: 

"I think the most important thing is that we remember the ones who are gone, but we don't linger on that. But we don't let it stop us. We don't let the fact that they're gone stop us from doing the things that we like and love. But we'll live our life so that we remember, appreciate, and respect them and are able to focus our lives maybe towards the things that matter most because we know how short life can be or how sudden death can be." 

Ultimately, Daria and Ben’s journey shows us that the loss of a parent does not have to result in permanent despair. Instead, it can cause a beautiful shift in perspective, refining a family's focus toward eternal things. By anchoring their hearts in the Savior and honoring the joyful traditions of those who have gone before, they prove that a legacy of love can completely transcend the grave, lighting a radiant path of peace for generations to come.